Another Assignment

Well, here follows a one page paper for another class. MW Rice’s class to be exact. This rising star endeavors to know the minds of this post-modernish generation, and thus asked me to write a one page paper that explains my thoughts in regards to the realm of relationships (with a potential significant other). Sure, I’ve written on this before, and the earlier material may prove better than this, but my ideas are continually evolving and so hopefully this will not sound rehearsed.

Without question, my biggest problem with relationships is urgency and immediacy that they are given, and the pressure that accompanies this urgency. When people discover I’m single, a warning is usually issued that follows these lines, “You better be quick, all the good girls will be taken if you wait till after college.” It is assumed that the purpose of [my] life is first and foremost to get married and have children. Although marriage and a family are good things, it is by no means our defining roles. First and foremost, we were made by God and for God. My concern should be advancing His glory. If that includes marriage, so be it.

Dating around, although potentially drama-prone and expensive, is not necessarily evil (unless you are Joe six-pack performing one night stands like there’s no tomorrow). What is burdensome is again, the pressure to do such things. Our generation has this mindset that the only way to find a spouse is through dating and knowing that person for a couple years beforehand to be on the safe side. We forget that dating is a recent phenomenon in our culture.

I could advocate courtship, but I have yet to hear an adequate explanation as to what it is. But I do know that the Lord is creative, and the way a couple finds each other will be unique to that them. I know of a couple who were friends for the longest time. After a few years, they finally realized they should get married. The man did not even buy her an engagement ring until her bridal shower, so that she would have something to show her friends. It has been objected that before dating, married couples were miserable. Maybe this was the case, but even with the large majority of people dating today, our divorce rate is at fifty-two percent. Apparently dating is not the solution to a “happily ever after” love story. We quickly forget that it is not the events leading up to marriage that matter so much as the events that follow. If a wife “submits to [her] husband as to the Lord,” and if a husband “loves [his] wife just as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her,” than it doesn’t matter if they knew each other two years before marriage or only two weeks (Eph 5:22-26). With a mutual servant hearts and self-sacrificing love, there is no way that the marriage could end in divorce.

I often hear women complain that men do not ask them out on enough dates. They enjoy going out and being treated to a dinner and a movie. Although I cannot speak for all men, I do not refrain from dating out of fear or expenses (but asking a girl out is nerve-racking). As I said earlier, the dating scene can be drama-prone and even heart breaking and I wish to avoid that. More importantly, I strongly believe that that is not how the Lord plans for me to find a wife (if I am to get married at all). I want to obey His will more than I want to please people (or least that’s how it should be).

*Now that this is in writing, I think this gives everyone the right to pound me into the ground if I go back on what I say.