Why Having Power Rocks

The past couple of weeks have been somewhat hectic, bouncing between places of residence, spending eight hour days working on PAWs Preview, and after that finished, I helped organize and participated in some Cru events. It’s not until now that I can actually “catch a breather.”
One thing that I have taken from my PAWs Preview experience is that being in a position of power is pretty cool. One of my freshmen became separated from her section and still needed to get her computer account taken care of. Unfortunately, Den Pavonka was now waiting in line for the computers, exacerbating her condition. What did I do? I told her to follow me, brought her to the front of the line (cutting off twenty-four people in the process), and got her back where she needed to be. In another instance, a couple of freshmen were waiting for their friend to be dismissed from a discussion group so they could go to lunch. What did I do? I told my PAL her section was free to go. Ironically in all situations I was helping girls. Coincidence? YES! (I can see Grace’s disapproving face now :).
So telling people what to do and when to do it is pretty cool. At the same time, it comes with a lot of stress and responsibility. If my PALs didn’t know how to do their job, that’s pretty much my fault.

Anyway, as my philosophy classes get underway, maybe I’ll come up with some more compelling material. But this will have to do for now.

The First Day of Travel

The following posts recount the days spent with Justin on his wedding weekend. I broke it down into three sections so that reading it would be slightly more bareable.

We began the road trip from Dallas to Destin at 4am Thursday morning. Jacob, the best man, and Justin, the groom, were the only ones allowed to drive the Civic. We picked up Jamie, another groomsman from Shreveport around 8am.

Much sleeping took place on my part, for better or for worse. One critical thing to know about my car naps is that my eyes are always half open, and my mouth is a gaping abyss. Jacob’s mom made some phenomenal brownies, and Jacob at one point decides to put one of these brownies in my mouth, which he quickly withdraws. After seeing I didn’t stir, he tag teams with Jamie, who is sitting next to me. Jamie then wedges the brownie in my mouth. I am now passed out with a brownie sticking out of my face. All three guys lose control of themselves when I proceed to eat the brownie in my sleep! Jamie and Justin said they almost peed their pants. I truly wished they had.

The next thing I know, I have the strangest sensation in my mouth. Is this…chocolate? I open my eyes and the first thing I see is Jacob turned facing me with a look of shock and wonder. He points to my shorts and I see the rest of the brownie resting in my lap. I could only respond by acknowledging how awesome they were to pull a stunt like that in my sleep.

While we were in Mississippi, we had somewhat of an accident. I was peacefully reading Desert Solitare by Edward Abbey, when I realized that I was flying in the air and my head cracked the ceiling. We had a blow out and ran against a concrete divide, which launched the car in the air. Jacob was driving, and Justin coolly told him to pull over to the right side of the road. We fully expected the car to be totaled, undrivable. Justin even told his dad such. But upon further examination, we found not a single scratch on the car. Only the front left tire and rim were damaged.
Excuse me while I step on a soap box: I don’t mind if people don’t pull over to help a stranded motorist, but pull over to the far lane for crying out loud! I don’t even want to think about how many cars almost knocked us down without a second thought.

We then went to the nearest Wal-Mart to get a new tire. This lasted for three hours. We watched a movie, read books, listened to music, ate dinner, and invented stupid games to entertain ourselves. To add insult to injury, after three hours of waiting, Justin attempted to make small talk with the mechanic.
Justin: Busy day today?
Mechanic: No, not really.

Need I say more? At least he gave us a joke for our time.
How do you know if someone is not from Mississippi? They marry someone with a different last name.

We arrived in Destin at 9pm, and Justin was given some drug or another that caused him to pass out fairly quickly. He and Jacob shared a bed, and while Jacob was talking to Trent, another groomsman, Justin grabbed Jacobs arm and kissed it twice. We determined that Justin was definitely ready to get married.

Josh's Arrival and a Few Failed Festivities

Josh would definitely be nominated for the “Toughest Weekend” Award (ultimately he would lose out to Justin or Lucy, or their respective parents). While driving down from Branson, Missouri after two months of summer project, his beamer was barely able to make it Jacksonville, Mississippi. Because of one belt and two pulleys, his alternator, power steering, and water cooling system all stopped functioning. He made it to a Super 8 motel and then was towed to the nearest BMW dealership the next morning where the needed repairs were made. Josh arrived at the rehearsal dinner Friday night around 9pm.

Afterwards, considering that it was Justin’s last night as a single man, we grooms men planed some festivities, i.e. pranks to make Lucy laugh during their first night together (we’re horrible friends, I know). Here’s the story in narrative form:

There were nine men lounging in a room of the Holiday Inn Express. Although not particularly fancy, it was more than sufficient and greatly appreciated by the six college students who were able to spend a weekend in Destin, Florida for free. Six of the men in the room were groomsmen, two were just friends, and the ninth was the groom himself, Justin, who appeared to be working on “Thank You” notes of some sort.
An awkward and expectant silence filled the room. The Best Man, Jacob, losing his patience spoke a word of truth to the groom.
“Justin, there are two ways we can do this.”
“Do what?” Justin looks slightly confused.
“You can either cooperate, or you can be wrestled to the ground by eight guys. Take your shirt off.”
“What’s happening?” Justin asked a group of leering men he once considered friends.
“Just do it.”
Justin meekly obeyed. (The definition of meek should be noted: Power under control). The groom’s hairy chest and “happy highway” were fully exposed. Two of the groomsmen got Justin on his back and covered his face so he would be ignorant of what was occurring. Trent, groomsman and friend from Burleson clicked on the electric razor to begin shaving chest hair.
“YOU ARE NOT SHAVING MY CHEST!!!”
The meekness in Justin was gone. No one was prepared for the oncoming wrath of a man crossed. His rage can only be adequately described as that of a gorilla whose banana had been stolen. Once the towel fell from his eyes he grabbed the first thing he saw, which happened to be Jamie, a quiet and unassuming character who weighs in at 160lbs. After pitching Jamie five feet into three other guys, it was decided that the festivities were over.

Lucy, if you are reading this, realize that you are completely safe from any trouble maker with Justin as your husband.

The Wedding Day

This was by far the most hectic day, and I wouldn’t expect anything different from a ceremony that begins the life of two people together until one of them dies.
It started off nice enough with breakfast made courtesy of Jerry at the reasonable hour of noon. Afterwards, Justin then thanked us all for being his groomsmen and coming down to Florida to share this experience with him.

It should be noted that Justin and Lucy wanted a beach wedding, and it had been raining for the past day and a half. But lo and behold, around 1pm, the clouds parted and the sun beamed through the sky. With a couple of hours of free time, we set out for the beach to play in the waves and sand.

The purple flag was raised, which represents “dangerous marine life.” Jacob and Jamie looked hopeful; they were bound and determined to catch and kill a shark. After all, some one was needed to protect innocent little girls and boys from being eaten by those ravenous beasts. I avoided the water for the most part, leaving the hunting to those two, and finding pleasure in burying Josh up to his neck in sand and abandoning him there. Ironically, he became the talking head that scared little girls and boys of the beach entirely.

Somehow Josh worked himself free, and he then joined Jacob and Jaime in the hunt for dangerous marine life. All they came across was a family of jelly fish which they tried to run aground. Unfortunately, Jeb, Tim, Lily, and Ursela, were better contenders than anticipated. Although Josh was unscathed, Jacob and Jamie received several painful rashes resembling the itchiness of fiberglass insulation.

Once we came in, Justin was in a panic to leave. He tried his best to rush Josh, since Josh was responsible for playing a couple of songs that evening. Josh was by far the most comical in his tux, though no fault of his own. The jacket ended up being an inch above his knees (compared to 3-4in on the rest of us). Justin’s panic was either unfounded, or succeeded in getting us to the needed destination well before the needed time.

Beach weddings typically start at 6pm, and under normal circumstances this is the time that most people vacate the beach. Due to the weather, this was not the case. People were so excited that the sun finally came out, that they stayed on the beach well past 7. This resulted in a huge audience for Justin and Lucy. In the middle of the ceremony, a drunk stopped about 10 feet behind the pastor and looked like he was about to ask the pastor what the entire hubbub was about. Fortunately for all involved, he thought better of it.

Jacob was in fine form. He was fully focused, and had both Lucy’s ring and the pay check for the minister, the two things that people were concerned about him forgetting. Once Justin kissed his bride and the recessional was finished, wedding pictures began. Almost immediately we realized how hot tuxes can be, and the pictures were cut somewhat short.

During the reception, it was decided that instead of going to Pensacola, Justin and Lucy would be staying at room114 (our room) for the night. We also learned that Justin’s family was locked out of their second floor condo. The following events will probably entitle four of us to the claim of “Best Grooms Men Ever.” You may call me bold and arrogant, but I’m not speaking only of myself, but of a group of astounding men.

After accepting our mission, the pastry relating the urgent message self-destructed, and we divided into two teams. Josh and I went to unlock the condo and retrieve the two hotel card keys, while Jamie and Jacob went directly to the Holiday Inn to convince the man behind the desk to give us another key, and if possible, clean the room.

Josh and I, being in the BMW, sped to the family’s weekend residence. A couple of astounding downshifts took place, and we even thought about illegally passing a sheriff on the shoulder. When we arrived, we hid among the shadows and bushes, waiting for the most opportune time to scale the wall onto the balcony. Not even James Bond himself could’ve been cooler. Once inside, we unlocked the doors and found the card keys. I switched out my tux shoes for the more reliable and versatile (and equally stylish) Chacos. We then raced for the hotel, doing at least one 180 degree turn and searched for our friends, expecting the worst.

You see, that room had been occupied by six guys for two nights. We refused room service on both mornings. Krispy Kreme donuts were on the floor, alongside wet towels, swimsuits, and dirty laundry. Beds had not been made. The bathroom was less than sanitary. A male stench pervaded the area than can only be known through experience, which those who have played sports would have much of. And we didn’t even know if our men were able to make into the room. The Bride and Groom could be arriving at any moment.

To our relief, Jamie had much experience working against secret police in various nations across the world (you think I’m kidding), and was able to use those tactics to gain access to our room, without the keys Josh and I had retrieved. Not only that, but when we arrived, the room was spotless. All the trash was thrown away. Dirty laundry was packed in each owner’s respective suit case and removed from the room. Jacob really balled up and cleaned the bathroom, toilet and all. Josh, with his Wolverine-like nose, picked up the smell of…roses. Jacob and Jamie sacrificed their boutonnières and used those petals to decorate the marriage bed.

All right, so some exaggeration just took place, but it makes a good story. We didn’t really think about the rose petals until a couple of hours after the fact (we’re going to be bitter about it for years to come). But Josh and I really did break into a second story condominium, and Jacob and Jamie really did get into that hotel room and clean it till it was spotless. We decided that our night could be the next BMW film or Fast and Furious 3 (Jacob was driving a two door Civic).

Justin and Lucy’s wedding definitely made the list of top 3 weekends of my life. I’ll have memories of this time for years to come. I quickly bonded with Justin’s other groomsmen, and realized that he has some of the best and most solid friends (I’ll probably be attending some of their weddings). I’m excited that Justin and Lucy have found each other, and it was a true blessing and honor to witness their wedding. I pray that their love for each other will continue to grow, and that the Lord will use them in amazing ways, both here and abroad.